AN INSIDE JOB

The more pleasant version of spring began to show itself, so one day I decided to build a table for outside to cook, clean and work on. I’m not a fan of propane indoors. Many people have unvented gas logs in their houses. Having appraised so many houses through the years, you start noticing things. The first couple minutes in a house you can smell anything different before your brain compensates to the point you don’t notice it anymore. The smell from long-term propane use is a big one. It’s very noticeable to start, but not so harsh as something like cigarettes, which my brain never compensated for. People and industries can make all the claims they want, but there always seemed to be issues with the house and the occupants’ health. Carbon monoxide was the other worry in a small space like mine. All of my propane use was going to be outside.

I used some of my cedar fence boards for the tabletop and 2 x 2″ strips for the legs and braces. It was tall enough I would never have to bend or stoop to use it. I would use it as a cooking platform and hand washing station with a laundry soap jug that had a handy push-button nozzle. Soon after, I made a companion table for Lydeana at the basement door for her planting and garden prep work. The time was coming we would be working up the gardens and managing our outdoor life more.

With the table done, the next order of business was insulating the building. A trip to town garnered a truck load of fiberglass insulation, 2″ thick foam board and the metal roofing for the outhouse. Fiberglass insulation is a pain to work with when you can’t take a long hot shower afterward. You cut it and those fibers get in your skin, eyes and whatever crevice or pore you have that you don’t want irritated. A day and a half and a couple thousand staples later, I was once again racing to beat evening showers to finish the job. All this required moving or removing everything in the building. Fiberglass in your food, bed or clothes more than sucks. It has a particular smell as well that isn’t what I consider nice. The place was considerably warmer at night, but now was a much higher fire risk until I got walls up.

I measured the place and planned out how many pieces of 4 x 8′ wall board I would need with just a little extra. I knew from the start that when each piece needs to be cut and there are odd smaller pieces needed in various spots, I am going to screw some up with the wrong cut. I decided to use OSB board (oriented strand board) because it was much cheaper than plywood and much sturdier and more adaptable for my purpose than sheetrock. I also wanted to use my scraps plus some extra sheets to do some cabinets of sorts. I was worried about throwing too much money into all this and realize I should have used plywood for the cabinets in the end.

I lost count of how many times I measured the interior to estimate what I needed and how to cut each piece. I finally drew it out and listed each piece, size and location to idiot-proof the process a little. I ended up making two trips to town for 24 sheets of OSB because my front tires would practically be off the ground with 12. That should have clued me in. I falsely assumed I would put all this stuff on the ceilings and other odd places in half- and full-size sheets. I’m here to tell you there’s got to be a kryptonite mine under my place. My superman abilities completely crapped out with the first sheet I managed to drag in and introduce to its new home. The stuff was new and still damp from manufacture, so it gained a spot on the periodic table just under lead. Another issue I would pay for over the next three to four months was failing to recall it’s made with formaldehyde glue. After it cures and finishes off gassing, it’s okay. Until then, I had incentive to air the place out with a fan and remain outside as much as possible. Cheap is the new expensive.

I tried cutting it in half and it was still too much to hold in place overhead either on my back in the lofts or with a ladder in the middle section. I had to cut particular dimensions for the ceiling anyway, so they were more like quarter-size pieces. They were still pretty heavy, but I managed it. The one thing that saved me was the new impact driver I bought. I had used a plain drill for screws before this, and it would strip them out half the time. I picked up a cordless Milwaukee impact driver and drill set and immediately fell in love. My construction times would be cut down to a quarter of anything previously. I had screws of all sorts and lengths for every job. If something didn’t have a screw in it, then it got several. The cats even gave me leery glances, probably suspecting they would end up permanently affixed to the nearest chunk of wood if they stood still too long.

Walls and ceiling in place, I reapplied some peg board on my “kitchen” side wall to organize stuff and took out the bamboo pole with hooks. I moved my stuff back in place and then put up new braces to hang the hammock. This time the angles worked out better, but I still had to experiment with it to make it fit around shelves and cabinets later. Inside temperatures stabilized far better, and the only cold spot was the floor.

When Shayley was little we picked up some 1/2″ foam mats that connected with puzzle edges to make our hardwood floors more tolerable to play on. She didn’t mind the floors, but our bones didn’t agree. With that in mind, I found some at the hardware store with wood floor print on one side and marble on the other. I laid it on the floor where I would mostly be standing. They only had two packs of it, so I had to be strategic. More was acquired as it came available to fill it in better. With a rug at the door to wipe feet and take off shoes I could keep it in reasonable shape. A few visits from Manny and the cats trying to make a bed or sharpen claws, and that wouldn’t matter for long. Either way, it insulated the floor rather well, and the overall comfort and ambiance of the place improved significantly. I opted not to paint the OSB because it was interesting to look at when bored. Nice idea, but barely ever happened. I would paint a couple of cabinets I made later to seal the OSB odor and brighten up the place a little. Most importantly, Lucky approved after a thorough inspection.

Two 2×4’s and a couple cheap sawhorse brackets allowed me to raise my toolbox a little higher and make some more space. The extension cord feeding two lights and an Edenpure heater, requisitioned from the house and plugged into a surge protector with a couple of USB ports, made up the electrical system. I had an electric cooking eye to try inside, so I could cook and brew coffee when it rained. I couldn’t use it and the heater at the same time or it would throw the breaker. Knowing exactly where my headlamps hung was crucial when suddenly finding myself in darkness. The little propane tanks used for my outside cooking seemed to run out fast so I ultimately replaced them completely with the electric eye. But not until after I tried my hand at a new dish.

With things coming together inside, the weather was improving to the point it was time to start working outside. With several years of neglect around the property and growing season looming on the horizon, I had my work cut out for me.